I think like most working folk, I live for that public holiday or that long weekend. It is the extra little cherry on top of the cake, and it’s like the gift that is sitting under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning.
But for the first time in history, I didn’t realise that yesterday was a public holiday until it was brought to my attention just two days prior.
Long weekends used to be about planning the nights out, the fun activities and the relaxation; but sitting inside in the same place that you have sat for weeks just doesn’t feel the same, and with that, the magic of the long weekend is ripped away just as violently as the imposition of the lockdown came into our lives.
But life is not what it used to be - gone are the days of the nights out and the adventurous days exploring whilst savouring the last of the summer weather; but not all is lost because what we do have is time on our hands for everything else that we usually push to the back of the line… endless amounts of time.
I used to be so busy that I didn’t have time to do the things that I felt was really fulfilling for me. I was always on the run, chasing the next load of fun that I guess that it often resulted in me putting “me time” and what fulfills me on the backburner. I had a serious case of FOMO and I spent most of my time worrying about missing out on something good, but with that came sacrifices which I wasn’t even aware that I was making.
Typically after a normal weekend, I feel tired. There was no recuperating after a long week at work - it was just go, go and go. And yes I enjoyed every moment of it, but I always felt like I was battling to find time for me and for all the things that I wanted to spend more time doing. Now I pretty much have all the free time in the world forced upon me, and although I haven’t always been the most productive during this time, and although sometimes I do get down on myself for not grabbing this time by the balls more productively, there is one thing that is for sure, and that is that instead of being out and about with zero time for relaxation or other focuses, or sleeping half the day away only to wake up with a hangover which guarantees zero productivity, I am actually doing the things that keep me happy.
Long weekends and public holidays don’t bring about the same instant gratification as they used to, but what this long weekend taught me is that life is all about that balance which previously I clearly lacked. Time still feels as if it is escaping me, but what I manage to do within one day during lockdown is fucking incredible and much more productive and fulfilling than what it used to be. Fun used to be something that I was chasing externally, but what I have realised is that fun is internal and even though I am sitting in the same place that I have spent the last month, and although I am not out and about, I am still having fun without burning myself out.
This lockdown can feel exactly what it is: restrictive and overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be labelled as such. I have spent hours writing, I have spent hours reading, I have even spent hours drawing (which is not something that I would say is a God-given talent haha); but I have also spent hours binging series, having drinks, having braais, chatting to friends and family and having an absolutely fulfilling and great time all from the little one-bedroomed flat that I have spent a month in. But this is what balance feels like and fuck, does it feel good!
One month of lockdown is officially ticked off, and as much as I want to just hang out with my friends again and be able to buy my booze freely and legally, I am so grateful to be in a position where I am able to invest my time into me and into all the things that make me happy, without all the external fluff pulling my limited attention away.
Lockdown is a bitch but it’s also a gift!
Be safe xx